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Krasticula the Starchy
Krasticula the Starchy is a new character in the sonic universe. He made his first appearance in the secret ending of Sonic the Hedgehog (2006), where he speaks to sonic about how the democrats are ruining the world and how he needs to help stop them. Krasticula is known for being a total jerkoff, and will often use his starchy food powers to murder children and pay off his gambling debt. Biography Krasticula was born into a wealthy noble family in 14th century Spain. He grew up in a house full of women, which explains his tendency to act like one. At the age of 6, he created his first snack food, Wheat Thins (Low fat). Knowing this would one day result in a cataclysm, he vowed to never release the formula. It was later stolen by Alec Baldwin in 1782. Krasticula didn't learn his snack food powers could be used for evil until he was 247. He got in an arguement with his deceased mother and discovered that deep frying a corpse could bring it back to life for a very pain-filled 23 seconds. He used this to his advantage during the boss fight with Paul Walker in 2013, in which he won. After Krasticula killed Abe Lincoln to settle a gambling debt with the Confederacy, he decided to dedicate his life to his one true passion: stitching sweaters of Chester Cheetah. He once stitched 4,523,322 sweaters in one day, which he used to destroy the ozone layer over Antarctica. He was then fined $10,000,000 by senator Al Gore, but promptly refused to pay and later killed Al with a frozen piece of human excrement. Krasticula hasn't been seen since his 2013 boss battle with Paul Walker, after which he ascended into the heavens, stating, "I am too dangerously cheesy for this world". Powers *'Snack Create:' Krasticula conjures up a random snack food, existing or not. This food has low calories and is usually delicious. *'Anal Anchor: '''Krasticula's rectum is unusually heavy, causing him to be off balance. If he sits on someone, they are imploded instantaneously. *'Danger Zone: 'Krasticula has the ability to harness the energy from Tom Cruise. *'Megalodon Hastenger Hangus Whiffler: 'Krasticular charges his cheeto-infused DNA to blast a single target, dealing 76,782,411 damage. *'Frying Pain: 'Krasticular uses his frycooking experience to cook a delicious burger, which then explodes dealing massive damage to towers, especially if they are twins. *'Red Dawn 2: 'Krasticular uses his hollywood connections to direct and produce a Red Dawn sequel starring Kevin James. The movie is a box office smash, and people riot and die trying to buy tickets. *'Angus Beef Broiler: 'Krasticula incinerates the target with a high-toxicity angus beef patty. Targets afflicted are poisoned, and take 666 damage each second until they die. *'Legacy: 'Krasticula is invincible to all forms of damage. If he is attacked, the attacker sees visions of Tostidos Krunchy Tortilla Chips, and permanently becomes a part of Krasticula's anus. *'Chungis Chef: '''Krasticula specializes in cooking his famous Chungis soup, which is made of children. If consumed, Chungis Soup grants +1 Agility but -17 Morality.